Open - Hand percussion is very cool... great way to start the song
CH1 - Great vibe on the harp... good choice... nice tremolo and dynamic changes on phrase endings... brave use of AAA Chorus Form... well done
CH2 - You start playing slightly ahead of the beat here... this song begs to be played behind the beat... so this is a "fix it" area / I like your Chorus Form use here
CH3 - I was wanting a dynamic change here... the chorus is a little too close to the head for my taste... it would have been a good choice as your second chords.
CH4 - Ah... dynamic change... good. Nice use of slaps
CH5 - Cool bridge and use of octaves... though it will be good if you study the note options for the chords to give you some more note options... with this, bars 7 and 8 can be even cooler
CH6 - Head returns
CH7 - Nice 5 dips and use of the 6 draw sequence... ah, yes, nice 5-holes octaves!
CH8 - Nice range change
CH9 - Bridge
CH10 - Head
Well done... out of all the instrumentals in the competition yours is the most original... and my son and friends are humming it as I type!... well done!
Good low end 3rd position work, nice fat tone. Good bending control, essential for playing this kind of 3rd position stuff. Also very nice that the tune has a middle 8. I think it would make your playing more interesting and strengthen the impact of your good tone if you were to work on your timing and try to move around inside the beat more. While it's fine to play this sort of tune in a laid back way, sometimes you need to push the beat to create a sense of excitement. Otherwise very good.
Good low end 3rd position work, nice fat tone. Good bending control, essential for playing this kind of 3rd position stuff. Also very nice that the tune has a middle 8. I think it would make your playing more interesting and strengthen the impact of your good tone if you were to work on your timing and try to move around inside the beat more. While it's fine to play this sort of tune in a laid back way, sometimes you need to push the beat to create a sense of excitement. Otherwise very good.
Thanks for taking the time and effort to provide such specific and concrete suggestions.
I think I understand what you mean about "moving around inside the beat more" and "pushing the beat." I assume it means that I need to use more syncopation "push" and perhaps to use shorter notes with more movement?
I'll work on that!
Very cool. 3rd position is nice choice for this kind of groove. You have a nice attack and spirit here. Good job with the low register bends as well.
For me the best aspect of this tune are the switches to the second riff at 0:55 and third one at 1:18. Totally unexpected. I like these a lot.
As with my comments on some of the other entries, consider using longer notes. For instance you nail it at 3:03 but stop the note just as the vibrato's kicking in. I would have liked to hear you hold on to that 'feeling' for longer.
My advice on some things to think about for the future is firstly try vary the start and ending of your phrases. A lot of them begin and end on the root. Secondly, quite a few start in the same place. Maybe start phrases higher and move downwards or end on a 7th. Even jumping an octave say 1d to 4d can add some variation. This is tricky to do with positions you're not familiar with. 1st and 3rd positions definitely have their signature sound which are super tough to break a way from. But you have an excellent 3rd position foundation, so I would encourage you to keep playing it regularly to enable you to fold in these touches.
Thank you for your time and energy in critiquing this. Very useful and specific suggestions that I will try to put to use. I didn't realize HOW repetitive I was being, nor HOW I was being repetitive (in the negative sense)! I have trouble figuring out when I'm not repetitive enough and when I'm too repetitive.
I love long notes, too....but I tend to feel like it's "cheating" when I hold one for too long...so I guess I over-compensate.
Back to the drawing board to re-analyze it with those things in mind.....Thanks again!
Excellent entry Mark! Sounds like Charlie Musselwhite! The recording is very professional and slick and each chorus follows seamlessly from the last. I especially like the way you repeated the head in the middle of the track at the break. Great stuff!
You certainly learned the lesson well - this is very well done in third and carries certainty throughout. Solid chorus forms and techniques all the way. Congratulations!!
Comments
good work
I really liked your rhumba. I've done very little 3rd position playing and this makes me realize I need to explore it.
Judging
Open - Hand percussion is very cool... great way to start the song
CH1 - Great vibe on the harp... good choice... nice tremolo and dynamic changes on phrase endings... brave use of AAA Chorus Form... well done
CH2 - You start playing slightly ahead of the beat here... this song begs to be played behind the beat... so this is a "fix it" area / I like your Chorus Form use here
CH3 - I was wanting a dynamic change here... the chorus is a little too close to the head for my taste... it would have been a good choice as your second chords.
CH4 - Ah... dynamic change... good. Nice use of slaps
CH5 - Cool bridge and use of octaves... though it will be good if you study the note options for the chords to give you some more note options... with this, bars 7 and 8 can be even cooler
CH6 - Head returns
CH7 - Nice 5 dips and use of the 6 draw sequence... ah, yes, nice 5-holes octaves!
CH8 - Nice range change
CH9 - Bridge
CH10 - Head
Well done... out of all the instrumentals in the competition yours is the most original... and my son and friends are humming it as I type!... well done!
Thanks!
Thanks for the tips, professor. Next time!
Nice work!
Nice low down third position playing with very strong bends and a big tone - cool stuff!
Steve's comments
Good low end 3rd position work, nice fat tone. Good bending control, essential for playing this kind of 3rd position stuff. Also very nice that the tune has a middle 8. I think it would make your playing more interesting and strengthen the impact of your good tone if you were to work on your timing and try to move around inside the beat more. While it's fine to play this sort of tune in a laid back way, sometimes you need to push the beat to create a sense of excitement. Otherwise very good.
Steve's comments
Good low end 3rd position work, nice fat tone. Good bending control, essential for playing this kind of 3rd position stuff. Also very nice that the tune has a middle 8. I think it would make your playing more interesting and strengthen the impact of your good tone if you were to work on your timing and try to move around inside the beat more. While it's fine to play this sort of tune in a laid back way, sometimes you need to push the beat to create a sense of excitement. Otherwise very good.
Thanks!
Thanks for taking the time and effort to provide such specific and concrete suggestions.
I think I understand what you mean about "moving around inside the beat more" and "pushing the beat." I assume it means that I need to use more syncopation "push" and perhaps to use shorter notes with more movement?
I'll work on that!
Lee's comments
Hi there,
Very cool. 3rd position is nice choice for this kind of groove. You have a nice attack and spirit here. Good job with the low register bends as well.
For me the best aspect of this tune are the switches to the second riff at 0:55 and third one at 1:18. Totally unexpected. I like these a lot.
As with my comments on some of the other entries, consider using longer notes. For instance you nail it at 3:03 but stop the note just as the vibrato's kicking in. I would have liked to hear you hold on to that 'feeling' for longer.
My advice on some things to think about for the future is firstly try vary the start and ending of your phrases. A lot of them begin and end on the root. Secondly, quite a few start in the same place. Maybe start phrases higher and move downwards or end on a 7th. Even jumping an octave say 1d to 4d can add some variation. This is tricky to do with positions you're not familiar with. 1st and 3rd positions definitely have their signature sound which are super tough to break a way from. But you have an excellent 3rd position foundation, so I would encourage you to keep playing it regularly to enable you to fold in these touches.
Overall, a great entry.
Hope this helps,
Lee
Thank You!
Thank you for your time and energy in critiquing this. Very useful and specific suggestions that I will try to put to use. I didn't realize HOW repetitive I was being, nor HOW I was being repetitive (in the negative sense)! I have trouble figuring out when I'm not repetitive enough and when I'm too repetitive.
I love long notes, too....but I tend to feel like it's "cheating" when I hold one for too long...so I guess I over-compensate.
Back to the drawing board to re-analyze it with those things in mind.....Thanks again!
re Thanks
No worries Marcos, glad you found the feedback useful.
Excellent!
Excellent entry Mark! Sounds like Charlie Musselwhite! The recording is very professional and slick and each chorus follows seamlessly from the last. I especially like the way you repeated the head in the middle of the track at the break. Great stuff!
Excellent! That's a poignant
Excellent! That's a poignant melody. Nice tone and good intonation on the hole 2 bends. I really enjoyed listening to this.
Good title too!
Steve
Sweet!!!
You certainly learned the lesson well - this is very well done in third and carries certainty throughout. Solid chorus forms and techniques all the way. Congratulations!!
Amazing!!!
What a beautiful song my friend!!! great licks in 3rd, grea tone!!!!